I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
