so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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