Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
only you would photoshop your dick
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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