Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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