So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
