Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
True strength comes from lack of pants
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
