do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
