meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
