She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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