Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
