is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
