You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
