dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
