I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
