My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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