why didn't you poke me back
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize
