it wasn't lemon gatorade
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
