those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
