The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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