That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
