I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
