the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
