rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
