haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
