why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
