I can't watch pbs sober anymore
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
