And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
