Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
smell my finger.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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