I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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