haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
