I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
