we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
