I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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