Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
