I just gift wrapped bread.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
