Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
