That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
