I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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