We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
