Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Drake has all the answers
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
