I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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