obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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