This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
