The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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