New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
