I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
