why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
