Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
