she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
