Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
