Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
